The Lodge @ Apotheosis Interview

Apotheosis
an interview with Sauron

To begin, tell us who is Mr. Sauron (as a musician and person) and how are you feeling at the present moment?
Mr. Sauron is a 26 years-old overgrown kid who is very irresponsible and has no future in recognised society. He thinks music is the most important thing in life, likes pot and hallucinogens and has a double-edged sword for an imagination. He lives in a fantasy world where all machines are conscious and have a weird sense of humour; work and football are sin, Black Metal is still good and Lemmy, with his rowdy band of pirates, raids nearby villages everyday and burns them to the ground. As a musician (programmer) I have been screwing around with sounds for more than a decade, look to any musical style for inspiration, as long as it has an edge and I'm more inwardly focused for results. And considering the norm, I'm in quite a good mood today, but the last thing I'll do right now is get my hopes up.

Please introduce us to the ideological concept of Apotheosis. You've used a dragon and some other fantasy elements on the cover of your debut album Farthest from the Sun; are these elements an important, relevant part of the band and is that your main inspiration for the lyrical side of Apotheosis? Please tell us more about the lyrics…
For this album, yes. I consider this album to date 97-99, as the era of music I was going through. Apotheosis started out with a dark concept with topics generally dealing with (to give a brief picture) Christendom's worst nightmare: diabolical rituals, human sacrifice, and hordes of daemons flying through the gates of hell to feed on human blood. By 95, though, I thought of a more epic outlook for this project, using a medieval and pagan atmosphere in music and lyrics, to give tribute to this wonderful epoch in history, where honour still meant something. This same concept reflects on the debut. While writing the music and lyrics, I was going through my pagan and wiccan phase and the cover concept also reflects this outlook. The Dragon represents the prime living creature composed of everything we interface with: the earth, space, time and the constantly moving and changing energies all around us. The lyrics themselves do not properly explain the concept, but merely accompany the music. Like the bard in the corner of a dimly lit tavern with his tales of gods and heroes, the lyrics just give a little direction to the listener, but there is much more said in the music itself, which is the man focus for this album. Today the concept for this project has changed drastically.

When you're composing an Apotheosis track, what are the main goals you set for it? I mean, what are you trying to put forth in the music? Is there an overall concept inherent to the entire album and the four songs which make part of it, a feeling or ambience that must be common to all compositions?
For this album, I wanted the songs to be as reasonably different from each other as possible. The atmosphere I tried to create was like being in an ethereal night, leaning to a more "orchestra ambient" setting at times. A large chunk of the atmosphere intended was left out though.

What was the initial purpose behind forming Apotheosis? Love for music, or simply need of expression?
Both, in that order of priority. Love for the music should be the primary drive, because it is that mystery that binds you to music, and urges you to dig deeper into it and discover why does it fascinates you. I consider music to be science and intuition is the only key to it. Self-expression is also important, as you need second opinions from people you trust to properly estimate your work, but some people take that to the extreme and depend solely on the interest of others to contribute to music. The real rush emerges from the creative process, when you create your own piece of music and discover something new. Music resembles life itself: time, pattern, rhythm, colour, harmony and diversity and similarly to science, within music lies the secret of life. There will come a time when music will help us direct our body energies, change our chemical levels, heart rate, growth and healing and help us consciously evolve in a direction.

Since you are the sole Apotheosis member, how does the composition process takes place? To be more precise, what material do you use and do you actually rehearse the songs as any usual band, or instead when you are in a certain mood you just go and record the stuff totally improvised? What are the main driving moods for you to compose music?
I use a PC running MED, a 16-track digital recorder and 2 synths, all audio and midi wired. Besides guitars, I use anything for an audio source, especially for percussion sounds. I never rehearse songs, I just plug everything in and play around sounds for hours. Very rarely in these occasions I find something worth keeping, but usually I get into a certain mood, hear a tune playing in my head, write it down and move on from there. I can't explain the required moods, it's all just fractions of memories piecing together.

The name itself also has its meaning, I suppose; would you be kind enough to share with us the story behind the word Apotheosis? From where did this term come from?
Not much of a story, actually. I had heard the word, but never looked into its meaning. When I was looking for an appropriate name (in a dictionary) I came across the word again, understood the meaning and chose it without much thought. I really like the sound of the word and the meaning (glorification, sanctification, the peak at the end of the crescendo) is I guess what everyone looks for in music.

Do you believe in the existence of terms such as "true love" and "happiness"? Do you have these elements in your life?
True happiness does exist. There was a time in my life when everything was perfect, down to every detail. It all depends on the relation between your physical reality and your mental reality. When both are in harmony and inspire each other, you are happy - and when you have the feeling that you're in control of this happiness, that is perfection. Things change though and you see the perfect scheme of things going vague and indistinct. Instinctively, you try to control your emotions again, but usually, if your mood is headed downhill, the more you try to hold on to things the more painful it is to finally let them go. True love is simply biological addiction. You consciously assert to yourself that your happiness, peace of mind and your very existence depends on another person. I think it's a form of obsession and must be purged. Usually a person in love doesn't have any proper focus when he or she is alone, like music. This person feels isolated and incomplete in a situation when he or she is alone and depends on the approval of someone else for a reality. Being in love is the epitome of the total extrovert. The other person is thought as heaven-sent and gives meaning to the subject's insignificant life. If you want to be addicted you shouldn't depend on something so volatile and irrational as another human being. Personally, I think music is 1000 times more satisfying than all the "luuuv" and bullshit the mainstream world has to offer. Again, if you want addiction, get into smack, which also lowers your sex-drive, very handy today in a world which constantly reminds everyone to be a pervert.

Tell us about your way in music: do you feel any constraint in your style (Black, Dark Metal), in any conception? Do you see any ways of progress, or simply of moving forward?
No, there isn't any constraint where music is concerned. Even within the style itself, there are a million possibilities of approach, sound and melody. Sometimes a style is based on only one particular song, or the way an album sounds, and people tend to forget all the other elements which initially gave birth to the style. For example, there was a time when all Black Metal bands tried to sound like Under a Funeral Moon, then they all wanted to sound like In the Nightside Eclipse, then like De Mysteriis Dom. Sathanas, then they all wanted to be Cradle of Filth and then they all just died. There's so much more of Black Metal what wasn't covered. I do have an idea how the next album will be. Much more on the dark side than anything else and few or no epic elements. The album will have a very diverse sound - especially where guitars are concerned - and the ambient element will be much stronger. Hopefully it would be something new and different.

Do you have a temptation to write music of another style, more or less popular?
Well, I've fallen into this temptation with on its first impulse. I was doing Techno and Ambient electronic music before Apotheosis and never quit trying out new things in this area. In 99 I also got very much into doing IDM, Electro, Industrial, Braindance and other forms of electronic music and was in a project with two other guys, but we ended up going separate ways after two years, due to musical and psychological differences. I still do electronic music today and in the future, when I hopefully will have a decent place where to set-up everything, I'll release a demo of this sort.

Can the absence of financial means influence on your creative work? Or are you of the opinion that lack of money has no effect upon artistic creations (art is free)? I ask this question after reading that your demo-tape (Shadows Eve) was recorded using an Amiga computer, 8-bit sound, only 4-voice polyphonic and 1 megabyte of RAM, together with an old 4-track recorder a and cheap reverb box with a microphone...
I think the concept of money is the source of all dissatisfaction among humans - the idea of having omnipotent credit totally detached from what you really are and what you're really worth. The ways of the world are pointing all in the direction where money will be a good excuse for anything. All the courthouses in the world are dominated by money and a person is found guilty or innocent, depending on the direction of the cashflow. The most powerful world leaders make up laws to favour their family and friends' businesses, like George (fuck)W(it) Bush and Italy's Berlusconi, who owns the country in every aspect. The war on terror is an excuse to pass radical laws to control our lives even more. They're not even trying to hide it anymore, it's now official - we, the powerful, do anything we want with you or anyone else. The world is under corporate management, the new aristocrats... and soon it'll be time for another revolt. Lots of people will die, I hope.
Anyway, back to the question: back when I had just the setup you mentioned, I would have given anything for a synth with more voices, more available tracks, or decent sound quality, but working within those limits had its advantages. For one thing, I used to record more music back then and being focused on simplicity I got things done faster. Today I hesitate more and get lost in detail. Today, with a decent setup, I'm not as fluent as I used to be. Yes, I am of the opinion that real art is free and retains its value when it's free. If pop music wasn't free, it wouldn't have any value whatsoever, since the only reason it sells is because of publicity and flashy sex gimmicks. It is because of money that crap is appreciated instead than real art.

What message would you say you wish to convey to your listener? And how would you encourage people to listen to your music?
I didn't want to convey any particular message on this album, except LEGALISE MARIJUANA. I just wrote the music I felt. I wouldn't want to encourage anyone to listen to my music, I'd rather they discovered it by themselves and enjoy it from their experience. I'd like to keep everything as low-profile as possible.

When did you actually get interested in music and especially Metal and the underground scene? How do your parents then - and your family now - react to your music tastes?
My parents hated anything I liked and in turn I hated everything they liked. Being painting, or music, or just basically anything which I took interest in was either banned in the house, or just any excuse was great to lessen my enjoyment of life. It seems all those generations of catholic repression and this bullshit society based on it has made these idiots think that if there's anything enjoyable, then it's wrong. I liked music a lot and thought of it as the only thing significant in life which provided escape from reality, but what really opened the doors to a higher understanding of the music was Extreme Metal. What appealed to me about this music is that it wasn't done to celebrate life, but more to tear it apart, a reason I understood very well. You can imagine the reaction of my family to "Satan's Music", as they called it, but the more they conjured parenting skills into sharing their views about it the more I liked it. This was around 92, I think. But this Christian fuckwit mentality is everywhere. It's not easy to be a Metal fan here, where censorship seizes the CDs you ordered because they contain material "offensive to the religion under which our constitution is written." Fuck, haven't they learned anything in all these years of total disfunctionality?

Were you an ambitious kid? Did you have aspirations, things you wanted to accomplish?
I hated being a kid subjected to the laws of stupid grownups, who fill your head with bullshit. At a very young age I discovered that grownups made up shit and called it dogmatic, when their realities were totally different than the way they try to picture it and they're just simply sad lame fucks who ended up where they are because they had no choice. They never expressed what they really felt, but acted like the sad Catholics they were, when there was a lot of anger and frustration among them all. They weren't teaching me to live but imposing an image I had to keep up for the family's reputation. I only learned not to trust them or anyone else.
As for ambition, I never had any whatsoever. I always knew that anything you try here is temporary and bound to screw up. I always hated reality the way it was and there was nothing that could be done to change it. I just wanted to be left alone in my mind, where everything was possible. I only wanted a quick death, as soon as possible, to break away from all these biological limitations, even if there is nothing but unconsciousness and oblivion after death. My ideals haven't changed much.

Now to a completely different question; do you think that someday we might be able to use genes to trace the ancestral history of the human race back to its origins to find out where we came from? Do you consider this an important topic?
Yes, absolutely. I assume our physical form is a projection, which contains all the information from start, point and (possibly) to finish. I think it's a vital topic, because we need this information to sort out the "who we are, why we're here and what do we have to do" ghosts, which I think is the most important matter of our lives. Somehow, no one seems to care much anymore and they assume if they keep doing what they're doing without screwing up much along the way, they'd be doing it for a good cause. But what real causes are there? There must be some universal law which made cells come together to form a higher consciousness, but if you look at what we've created in a collective, you'll find out it's doomed. But people still feed it eagerly. History gave us a great map of human consciousness and its evolution, but by looking at the fluctuation we haven't been able to determine the basis of the rule. As long as science is funded so miserably - and there's a lot of market catches involved in every aspect of our lives - we're doing nothing but complicating the process and our existence will collapse.

Are you the type of person who likes to travel? Any particular country you would like to visit by historical, cultural reasons, or simply by interest? What knowledge do you possess of my homeland, Portugal?
I like to travel a lot, but I haven't done so in years. No cash to spare. I'd really like to visit Eastern Europe, Scandinavia, Japan... these cultures are inspiring and I'd really like to see them and breathe their air (but it seems so far fetched for me to go travelling right now).
Portugal? I know Sirius are from Portugal; and Moonspell, who were a very good band once. I don't know much else, except that the Portuguese were partly responsible for wiping out the Aztec, Inca and Mayan civilisations.

Do you feel your music is not up-to-date - since on Farthest from the Sun you’re still re-recording material from your demo-tapes while still improving it? Are you 100% satisfied with this album?
Yes, I agree that it's not up-to-date. There's a huge time-gap between what's actually going on here and what others hear. And no, I'm not satisfied with the way the album turned out. It's missing a huge chunk of thickness and atmosphere, the synthetic drums are too evident at times, the keyboards sound tinny and the transitions between song parts don't tie together as they did at home. But what's done is done. The stuff I'm up to today sounds totally different than anything on the album. As a priority for this project, I've made it a point to get things out in time, and future material will properly be in real time.

On your biography, I read that only 5 copies of your promotional material was sent out to labels and all 5 of them (including N.A.P.) offered a contract. Please explain why did you only send 5 copies and what drove you to choose N.A.P. from the other 4 labels (obviously, state which are the other 4 labels)?
I did only 5 because I wanted a small-scale reaction. Sending it to every possibility I had would have given a higher expectation of the whole thing. I only wanted to confirm that the material was worth something with good labels within range of possibility. N.A.P. was a label which I highly esteemed and back then when everything in the scene started to seem fake, N.A.P. was the label no one couldn't question regarding true interest in the music, Metal integrity... authenticity, so to speak. I'm proud to be on this label. And no, I rather wouldn't mention the other labels involved.

Now that you have reached what is basically every band’s first step - to get a record deal and an album released - what is the next step on Apotheosis career? What follows the Farthest from the Sun CD?
He, I wish I knew. Things look sorted one day and differently the next. I really can't plan anything right now. I've got a shitload of fucking problems to sort and I have no place to properly set everything up and I'm going nuts. I can write some ideas and stuff now, but I won't be in a position to record an album till everything is sorted. Fuck, this life is so user-unfriendly. I wish I could get that son of a bitch who invented this whole fucking system. Anyway, for sure the project will continue with another album in a different style of music, but I'm not planning a whole escalation to a full band or live ever.

What about reviews and criticism, how have people been receiving your debut album? Do you think people are bored of this specific Black, Symphonic Metal thing? What are the main critics people have done to your work?
Most critics liked it. I'd say that in 6 out of 10, the reaction in the reviews gave the album a top mark, 2 out of said "so-n-so" and the other 2 out 10 absolutely hated it. I like them all, though! They all give you a different aspect of how your music is perceived. Some of the very negative comment is just gibberish, but some really hit an important point, which would be something to keep a note of next time I try something else.
About if people are bored with "sympho-black", well, I have no idea. I haven't been in touch with the Metal scene in years. I'm not conscious of any trends or anything which goes on, it just seemed that the music I liked is gone. But keep in mind that the oldest music written on the album is dated from 95 and may sound dull in certain preferences of today. This album should have been released before, but it's entirely my fault. What critics in general didn't like and saw fit to point out in some bizarre way or another, lies mostly in the album's production during recording. Some parts really don't tie together, tracks fall loose of each other and some transitions are dodgy. But it's no one's fault, really, I had a budget and a time limit in the studio and had to work with other people, so it turned out as good as possible. It doesn't sound at all the way I planned it, but some people saw beyond that and looked more into the melody and the arrangements and found them quite refreshing in this style.

From the demo material of Shadows' Eve to the debut album Farthest from the Sun, I believe there has been a substantial improvement of your music. Do you take this as a natural evolution or an intentional deed? You have a rather experimental vibe in your music, do you hope to explore that further or have you found what you were looking for?
It's a natural evolution. The ideas for the music were always in my head, I simply didn’t have enough equipment to work with (for example, more tracks and voices for sounds). The experimentation never stops, that's a priority! To be subjected to your own formula is the most pathetic form of artistry. If I can't do anything different in music, then there's no use in doing anything at all. Finding what I'm looking for is impossible for now, because I really don't know what I'm looking for. It seems I can't be in tune with any music scene around now, so I'll just do what comes next and see what happens.

Is it easy to find goodstudios and producers for your kind of music in Malta? Have you had any trouble with the recording of Farthest from the Sun? Please explain us how was the process of recording and what have you felt to have your music finally "documented"?
Temple Studios was the only choice here. Most others have a reputation of being total slackers, knowing jack shit about audio engineering, fucking up recordings and being totally impatient. The Temple guys are professionals and had experience with a lot of foreign bands. Trouble? Always! I've had to wait for months for a "no, sorry we can't do it" from the previous studio. And they never actually said it. Apart from that, the previous year I was stranded on the smaller island for work, where there's nothing but boredom, loudmouths and more boredom (figure out recording studios). Anyway, basically the process was I had all the music in midi and the guitar tracks, took them to the studio, spent a long and tiring time to figure out how to synch my non-standard audio software to the studio master and transferring all stuff to the desk, recorded vocals and other bits and mixed it all down. The whole process was interesting and the guys at Temple were very helpful, but they had no experience with Black Metal sound and didn't quite get my point. I was a little let down by the way it turned out, but it was the best it could happen in these circumstances.
The morale of the story for me, is I don't work well with other people and I don't record anywhere except home, where I have time to think and experiment with sound.

Please let me know your view on my questions and to put an end to our chat, your future aims or ideas...
Very good interview - with lots of interesting questions which evolve someplace - I really enjoyed it, thanks a lot. Megacheers and keep up the good work.
How shall I end this? Kill George W. Bush, if you get a chance. The whole world including generations of dolphins and whales will be very grateful. Thank you.

© 2002 Abyss

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